The Healing Power Of The Tantric Relationship

While much is said and written about how learning tantra can benefit us, the fact is that ancient tantra is and has always been about relationships. Without relationships, human life is barren and meaningless. It becomes a parody – a farce.

Very few people seek out a tantra teacher solely because they want to become better, more spiritually balanced human beings. In the end, human happiness is not something that can exist in isolation. Relationships are of paramount importance.

So how does tantra help in improving our relationships? Actually, the tantric approach to healing our love lives is very different from that of most modern systems. In the first place, the focus is not primarily on healing relationships but healing ourselves.

As we begin to grasp and leverage the secrets of this ancient science of love and life, we change as persons. Only on the basis of personal change can our relationships change.

Our focus shifts from seeking instant gratification for ourselves (a typical syndrome of modern times) and begins to give higher importance to the significant other. This is the attitude of tantra worship – a concept which has been greatly misused and misinterpreted by spurious ‘experts’. In fact, worship is the fundamental on which the entire tantric system is based.

To put it simply, our significant other assumes greater status and becomes a person to be cherished, adored and celebrated.

Do you remember all those fairy tales and moral stories we learned back in childhood? In many of them, the constantly repeating theme is that true happiness can only be the result of making others happy. If we set out to seek happiness and gratification only for ourselves, we will fail.

This is precisely because we are not isolated phenomena on this planet – we are meant to live in relation to others. True happiness in relationships can only come when we can somehow contribute to the happiness and wellbeing of our partners.

In many relationships today, the inward focus on personal gratification is so strong that it has reached toxic proportions. While one partner – usually the male – has set out on a single-minded quest to have all his needs met, the woman winds up resentful and bitter. The Shiva-Shakti equation is seriously disrupted.

Learning tantra from a qualified tantra teacher can heal the breach and set the equation right again. It takes time, effort and dedication from both partners – but the end result is a healthy, natural relationship in which both are healed.

Acharya Subhojit Dasgupta is a Tantra Teacher with deep knowledge of traditional Indian sciences. Visit his tantra online guide for Tantra Lessons from this young Tantra Master. 

How Tantra Transforms Relationships

In today’s world, men and women relate to each other in all sorts of ways. You have the mainstay model of marriage, but also so-called ‘trial marriages’, live-in relationships, intimate friendships and also very casual relationships. Not all of these configurations are conducive to the teachings of ancient tantra.

For the purpose of tantra instructions, the tantra teacher assumes that a certain level of commitment exists between partners in a tantra for couples setting. If this does not exist or is not sought between the partners, there is little point for the partners to try to learn tantra. When it comes to relationships, tantra is based on mutual adoration and a worshipful attitude towards each other. This is not possible in an overly casual relationship setting.

Often, aspiring students of tantra are married couples, or are in a live-in relationship. In such relationships, the tantra teacher will often discern a certain degree of jadedness and boredom. Indeed, this is why the couple has sought out a tantra master in the first place – they want to ‘spice up’ their relationship. This is a good starting point, though the preconceptions with which such couples approach learning tantra are often off the mark.

Tantra is not about learning exciting new sexual techniques which can miraculously revive a flagging relationship. It is an ancient science that addresses the spiritual needs of human beings, first and foremost as individuals. Only when the individual is spiritually healed and ‘centered’ can he or she relate intimately with another individual. Once this spiritual healing has taken place, any relationship he or she is in or will embark on is primed for success.

That said, learning tantra in a tantra for couples setting does infuse as massive amount of fresh romance into the relationship. The intimate partners begin to really see each other, often for the very first time. They learn of each other’s divine nature, and how this nature is worthy and deserving of a deeper, less selfish respect and cherishing. Indeed, tantra teaches couples to cherish each other deeply – to the point of worship, in fact.

Many couples that have got into a groove where they have become used to each other to the point of boredom find tantra a life-saver for the relationship. As a tantra teacher, I have encountered married couples in which the partners have stopped displaying those all-important signs of affection towards each other – holding hands, kissing spontaneously and talking to each other.

After just one month of intense tantric instructions, these couples are transformed. There is new joy in the relationship. There is cherishing. There is deep contentment, and a new-found sense of interest and excitement in each other. Seeing this transformation in action is one of the most satisfying experiences in the work of a tantric master.

Acharya Subhojit Dasgupta is a Tantra Teacher with deep knowledge of traditional Indian sciences. Visit his tantra online guide for Tantra Lessons from this young Tantra Master.

Enhance Your Tantra Experience With Aromatherapy

One of the most important aspects of tantra practice is setting an optimal atmosphere for worship meditation. In India, diffused fragrance us a traditional mainstay of most spiritual activity, and not without reason. The human mind responds to olfactory inputs in different ways, and can therefore be conditioned into a worshipful state by such means.

There are various ways in which you can use your olfactory senses to tone your mind and enhance your overall experience in tantra sessions. One of these is the use of aromatherapy. Apart from setting the right kind of spiritual mood during tantra exercises, aromatherapy is a time-honored means to achieve overall healing of the mind and body. As a tantra teacher, I especially advocate its use in tantra meditation.

Aromatherapy in the form of aromatherapy candles or diffused essential oils is a wonderful source of nourishment for your mind, body and spirit. The oils used are completely organic and contain no chemical additives. The healing effect begins on inhaling the fragrance – the olfactory nerves are activated and stimulated, after which they transmit healing messages directly to the brain.

Apart from being an excellent way to establish the right kind of atmosphere for tantra meditation, aromatherapy can also heal various physical ills. This is because they have antibacterial, antibiotic and antiviral properties.  The application or inhalation of certain natural essential oils can have a profound healing effect.

For instance, eucalyptus alleviate the symptoms of colds and offers relief to those who suffer from any kind of allergy. Geranium is wonderful for relieving stress, especially just before their periods. Lavender-scented aromatherapy candles are perfect for reducing anxiety and depression. In my tantra for couples sessions, I usually employ rosewood-scented aromatherapy candles because their pleasant, woodsy aroma creates an atmosphere of overall wellbeing.

One of the most powerful aroma therapy elements for tantra practice is basil oil, since it helps in sharpening concentration and also combats depression. Tea tree oil is an antifungal agent when applied locally and its smell also has an immensely healing effect. Similarly, lavender oil has a calming and relaxing effect.

No tantric master will claim that the use of aromatherapy is some kind of miracle cure for all ills – it is not. However, it certainly is extremely useful when it is used in tantra sessions.  As for the aphrodisiac qualities of certain aromatherapy elements – sandalwood oil, jasmine and rose are said to have a profound effect on the human libido.

This is, of course, highly subjective and while it may work for some, it may not for others. However, it is certainly true that the erotic aspects of tantra are fundamentally based on worship and therefore hot-wired into its spiritual elements. Since aromatherapy is a powerful tool for establishing a worshipful atmosphere, no tantra teacher can dismiss this aspect altogether.

Acharya Subhojit Dasgupta is Tantra Teacher with deep knowledge of traditional Indian sciences. Visit his tantra online guide for Tantra Lessons from this young Tantra Master.