Ancient tantra recognizes sex and sexual intimacy as the wellspring of life. As such, it is not something to be ashamed of, to hide or to have issues with. In order for a tantra teacher to be able to instruct his pupils in the required fashion, he must first help them become comfortable with the powerful sexual energy that constantly courses through all of us.
Tantra teaches us that that sex is a friend, not an enemy. However, the uninitiated often treat sex as their most challenging enemy; as a constant source of worry, insecurity and despair. The way we look at sex is the way we look at the rest of ourselves, and our lives.
If we consider our sexuality as profane and evil, then that is how we perceive ourselves – for we were borne of sex, and it is through sex that we will procreate, effectively recreating part of ourselves. It is a contaminated way of thinking and seeing ourselves, and it leads to no end of grief in our personal lives. We must learn to break this cycle so that we can reach our fullest sexual and spiritual potential.
When your tantra teacher asks you to accept your sexuality and become friends with it, he is asking you to open the door to the knowledge of being and your innermost self. A tantra master helps his students to achieve this state of harmony with sexuality by means of various tantra rituals, meditation techniques and exercises.
Through these tantric rituals and exercises, we achieve sexual compatibility – first with ourselves, and then with our intimate partners. Yes, that’s right – you need to be sexually compatible with yourself before you become compatible with another. It is logical and axiomatic, yet we often overlook this fact.
According to the tantric scriptures, true love is the ability to relate both emotionally and sexually with another human being. The state of love requires the partners’ bodies and spirits to be in harmonious balance – first within themselves, and then in relation to each other. The process of achieving a state of tantra love calls for a harnessing of spiritual energy.
When this spiritual energy – or tantra energy – flows freely within our bodies, it can mingle and merge with the energy of another. Then – and only then – can we grow closer to our beloved partner. Love is not a selfish state – it is a state of devotion which we display worshipfully to our partners, thereby evoking a responsive devotion in him or her. In tantra, love becomes a sacred and devotional act which transforms the relationship into a state of awakened consciousness.
In a tantra for couples setting, the tantra master will teach his pupils to view themselves and each other as higher beings, possessed of sacred sexual energy. This sexual or tantra energy is then harnessed and multiplied by means of specific erotic tantra rituals. In the process, human defects and misgivings are left behind and a celestial sexual union can finally take place.